Dear thetruthhurts,
Yes... the 'truth' hurts... I don't know if you still go to meetings, occasionally? or if your wife tries to 'update' you on the great things the Borg is doing, or how Jehovah has seen the problem of 'child sex abuse' and is 'blessing' the congregations/ publishers/ WT with 'new light'?
Being out since 2012, after the 'overlapping generation... 607 is the wrong date thing, it would make me cringe to have to live with hearing the zombie like phrases WT trains people to have in their heads.... Especially if my spouse & kids were still in. Fortunately, for me, my husband, two kids, daughter in law, and my sister left at the same time... we talked, we reasoned...
During these seven years, I have asked many people (all people I meet, actually) "What woke you up?" I also am keenly interested in how families have helped loved ones in their 'awakening'....
Many have expressed that, over time, key phrases, questions, news articles were recalled, and the puzzle just started going together. Nowadays, the majority of newly awoken people I spoke to didn't wake up due to 'doctrinal' issues... but just felt 'something wasn't right'.
They either didn't like the 'dumbed down' messages, videos, meeting parts where the WT was read, the answers given were simply quotes of what was read, and eyebrows raised if it was anything OTHER than exact.... it gave them the feeling of 'what's going on?'
Also, watching Australian Royal Commission got so many people jumbled up and awoken... listening to a GB member Geoffrey Jackson say in WT style that, basically 'it would be presumptuous of us to say that we have the only true religion.' I actually don't know how he invented those answers so quickly. An extremely skilled con-artist.
WARNING: Do not try to dump all of this info on your spouse at one time. I hear that 'talking to yourself'... "Hmmm, did he really go to Australia and testify?" or "I've never seen a GB in a court room" or "Oh my god, they didn't report it? there were 1,000 pedophiles noted so far?" maybe news articles about other relilgions doing wrong, and asking 'how can they do that?' or things like that.... very casually, and not to pressure them.
Maybe watching an episode of Leah Remini/ Scientology, I think it was season 2 episode 2 or 3 where they interviewed reporters, investigators, professors, lawyers and they spoke of their experiences. It eerily mirrors JWs. (more extreme)
Even the experiences of sexual abuse.... same as JWs...
Then, there is the 'spend more fun time' with your spouse. Brainwashing depends on people being constantly bombarded with information, over and over... Hence the joke, "Jehovah's people are brainwashed, that's why we have the cleanest brains of anyone on earth, hahahaha"...., Remember that?
Well, if you plan vacations, events, hobbies that take them away from meetings, service, etc (not all at once, you have to build a desire, everyone WANTS to have fun, but are made to feel 'guilty' about it, right?) That hamster wheel of activity is there for a purpose,,.. to keep your brain engaged, WT needs that, desperately.
How old are your kids? All kids love to have fun, let them, help them. Inch by inch (just like WT did to us) get their brainwaves on another track. (Each parent has the 'right' -as WT likes to point out- to spend time with their kids in the way they want... )
I also feel that talking to friends, other ex-jw's has it's advantages. A therapist is good for seeing the big pic, dealing with frustrations, and if you can't sleep? drugs to help.
When you first leave, it is quite a mix.... So sorry that you still have your family in. keep writing, keep living, singing, dancing, exercising, traveling,hobbying.
I hope this helps,
cha ching